The Lesser Owen Brother

Mr. Luke Wilson – So, your newest venture, the horror movie, Vacancy, has only managed to scare up 13 million in two weeks. It cost 20 million to make and about 10 million to advertise. Let’s see….cost 30 million – made 13 million… that sucks about as bad as the time I got drunk and my friends convinced me the only way to get rid of crabs involved paint thinner and a box of matches. Hey Luke, care to take a guess as to why this movie will never make any profit? Are you frickin’ kidding me?

What part of “you suck” do you not understand? Out of the 34 movies you have been a part of, the only ones that made money were Old School with Will Ferrell, Anchorman which had…mmmm…Will Ferrell and Blades of Glory which was …Ummm….I don’t know….FRICKIN’ WILL FERRELL? Basically, they could have inserted my momma’s glass eye into the role you had and not only would the movies have made as much money, they probably would have gotten a little more acting intensity, too because you’re about as sharp as a frickin’ cue ball. Now, don’t get me wrong, if I were you, I would cling to Ferrell like a dingleberry satellite orbiting Uranus because you’re riding a frickin’ gravy train on biscuit wheels.

And here’s a message to all the directors out there. Apparently, you think every time Owen Wilson turns a role down you can just insert his no talent hack of a brother in the role and we won’t notice. Well guess what, you can also spraypaint a turd green and put a picture of George Washington on it but that doesn’t mean anyone at the Dollar Store is dumb enough to take it. Morons.