The Other Wahlberg

Star of Saw II and a part of Saw III, Donnie Wahlberg (Officer Matthews), apparently has some kind of beef with the filmmakers for keeping him alive in the series. When asked about an appearance in the upcoming fourth installment of the grizzlefest known as Saw, Rotten Tomatoes (www.rottentomatoes.com) had this quote:

"Yeah, I got a scene in it," said Wahlberg. "They kept me alive. I told them I wanted to die in part three and they took out my death. I just lie there and nothing happens."

Even Jigsaw died in Saw III but he's back. The filmmakers are keeping a tight lip on the timeframe that allows such actors to return, but Wahlberg was so annoyed that he spilled that officer Matthews still exists in present tense.

"No, they kept me alive. I don't want to talk about it."

Are you frickin’ kidding me? Dude....seriously....you're mad about this? You're not gonna start spewing about artistic integrity are you, cry baby? Saw is the first semi-decent thing you’ve done since you were in that supergay group, New Kids on the Block. (Seriously, could you have been any gayer? You made Clay Aiken look like Clint Eastwood.) You oughtta be counting blessings and wanking the Wonka all day long if the filmmakers even MENTION your name in relation to this movie. Be content to see any of these next to your name: Actor, set builder, water boy, Tobin Bell’s personal penis massager….because anything is better than the career you have otherwise which would involve either A) extorting younger and vastly more talented brother, Marky Mark Wahlberg or B) asking the question, “Would you like fries with that?” all frickin’ day long. Let’s face it, a few more Saw-type flicks and you could have a long straight to cable presence along side fine bit players like Eric Roberts and Jean Claude Van Damme….however, a few more outbursts like this one and Hollywood will have about as much appreciation for you as my mailman does those cat turds I leave in the mailbox in the middle of August. What’s even funnier than that is he actually believes the story I told him about the renegade cat that does it. He probably also believes that Rosie O’Donnell is a woman and thinks he really IS a winner every time the Publishers Sweepstakes envelope arrives.