Crikey This!

This one has me more flipped out than Charlie Sheen’s wang. One year after Steve Irwin aka The Crocodile Hunter’s shocking death in the ocean, demands are being made for his secret autopsy report to be made public. Reports claim he may have been on prescription painkillers that could have clouded his judgment when he was killed by a stingray's barb last September. Drugs? Steve Irwin? Are you frickin’ kidding me? I mean he was purposely trying to piss off 12 foot crocodiles. What do you think? OF COURSE the dude was on drugs. Have you ever watched his show? Any normal human being who was being struck at by a giant rattlesnake would want to escape worse than Britney Spears’ kids. But not Irwin. Here’s a guy who put himself in front of cobras, he put himself in the water with sharks and he put his frickin’ head in the mouths of alligators. Damn, the only thing more dangerous he could have put himself in was Paris Hilton. Crikey! Look at those blisters. That there, mate, is one scary case of herpes. I’d rather wrap my wanker in bacon and dangle it in a crawfish hole than go spelunking in that cave of doom. And, frankly, getting into the ocean with a bunch of giant sting rays is crazier than using a piranha to shave the hair around my bunghole. So, let me save you some time. Was the Crocodile Hunter on painkillers? You’re damn right. Steve Irwin was probably more loaded up than a Wendy’s baked potato when he got in that water and he had every right to be. Crazy people need their medicine.