This one has me more pissed off than Whoopi Goldberg’s new makeup artist at the View. Talk about drawing the short straw. Damn. But, back to business, it was announced that Paris Hilton has just landed a role in a movie musical about organ harvesting called Repo: The Genetic Opera. The director was quoted in Variety Magazine as saying, “I have auditioned at least 30 actresses for this role and Paris sang it better than all of them. Paris came in and owned it. She is this role." Are you frickin’ kidding me? Oh yeah, I’m sure she did beat out 30 other actresses when it came to “organ harvesting” and I would suspect the organ in question might also be referred to as a pajama python. Yeah, I saw her harvesting that very organ in the online movie she made… so he’s right. She IS that role. But the singing part….you gotta be frickin’ kidding me. If you’ve heard her CD you know that Paris is to singing what Amy Winehouse is to a healthy smile. Damn, girl. Shove a chiclet in that hole or something! But, back to Paris, I’m fairly certain that the other 30 auditions could have been Sanjaya Malakar, a few cats in heat, a frickin’ cockatoo and a recording of the sounds I make when I’m in the can breakin’ off a nappy buttstick and she still would have come in dead last. If my choices were A) watching Paris in a musical or B) spending an evening being tea bagged by Tommy Lee then I'm gonna need some soft candles, a Motley Crue CD and an EMT on standby to reset my broken nose when we're done. The bottom line: This musical is gonna suck harder than, well, Paris Hilton.
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