Are you sick of diet programs that promise results but don’t deliver? Are you tired of eating prepackaged crap for 6 months just to drop two or three pounds? Hell, you could take a good dump and do that. That’s why I need to tell you about the revolutionary new program sweeping the nation. I’m talking about the Tom Sizemore Crystal Method Weight Loss Program. The miracle science behind the Crystal Method means you don’t need a lot of workout gear or equipment. You just need a lighter, a pipe and Tom’s specially formulated and magically measured granules. We guarantee you to lose half your body weight in 6 months if you follow Tom’s plan. Look for Tom’s mobile distributors in your neighborhood tonight! And remember, you don’t have to be a celebrity to look like one!
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