Fatties Unite!

Meme Roth of National Action Against Obesity recently said Jordin Sparks is too obese to win American Idol. Roth says that Sparks, the 17 year old winner of this year's American Idol and daughter of former NFL cornerback Phillippi Sparks, sends a bad message to a society in the midst of child obesity crisis. “When I look at Jordin, what I see is heart disease, I see diabetes, I see high cholesterol."

Are you frickin’ kidding me? When I look at Jordin I see a girl so cute that if you put her next to a group of puppies they would instantly look like maggots with legs. But Meme, you Barbie-syndrome, anorexia pushin’, lunch throwin’ up nut case, what I see when I look at you is A) a posterchild for mandible augmentation. Hell, with a 5:00 shadow you could give George Clooney a run for super-powered jawlines and B) a woman who most likely hides her index fingers from the world because the ends of them are probably melted to nubs from the years of stomach acid they encountered while spearing the back of your throat.

If it was up to me, I would have you kidnapped and hypnotized to believe that Ronald McDonald was Jesus and that eating the holy Big Macs was the only way to get through the pearly gates. If karma is truly a wheel, then I pray it is in the shape of a burger when it rolls it’s greasy, cheesy goodness all over you.

For God's sake, she's only 17 you frickin' nutbag. Meme, I blame you for Nicole Richie and those idiotic blond twins who look like stick figures....you know...Mary Carp and Assface....or whatever.

See Jordin, I got your back. Now make those of us with junk in our trunk proud and put out a CD that doesn’t suck like Reuben and Fantasia’s.