So Bruce Willis is back as John McClane in Die Hard 4. Look, I still think the first Die Hard is the best action movie ever made but isn’t Willis a little bit old to be doing this one again? Are you frickin kidding me? Think about it… the last time a the Die Hard franchise was popular we had a president who wasn’t hooked on phonics and Dick Cheney wasn’t VP…he was just, well, a dick.
What’s the name of this sequel again? Die Hard 4: Medicare Warrior? I mean, come on, what’s the premise? I guess ole Bruce will have to take on some really evil orderlies at the nursing home. What….is he pissed off about all the lumps in his cream of wheat? Are they not being fair with the shuffleboard time?
You know what, I’ll go see your movie, Bruce….on one condition….Would you please NOT let your facially-challenged daughter have a role in this? Bruce, I hate to break it to you but I think Demi Moore might have been cheating on you with….oh….I don’t know…. Mr. Frickin’ Potato Head. I’m almost positive that there’s a hidden panel in her back that opens up to reveal a variety of hats and some spare eyeballs. Seriously, I would rather deep fry my own scrotum than have to stare at Rumer Willis on screen for an hour and a half.
Bruce, I really appreciate you once again saving the world from terrorism but could you just save us from having to see her again or at least let her take a shoulder-fired missile to the head in the opening sequence?
What’s the name of this sequel again? Die Hard 4: Medicare Warrior? I mean, come on, what’s the premise? I guess ole Bruce will have to take on some really evil orderlies at the nursing home. What….is he pissed off about all the lumps in his cream of wheat? Are they not being fair with the shuffleboard time?
You know what, I’ll go see your movie, Bruce….on one condition….Would you please NOT let your facially-challenged daughter have a role in this? Bruce, I hate to break it to you but I think Demi Moore might have been cheating on you with….oh….I don’t know…. Mr. Frickin’ Potato Head. I’m almost positive that there’s a hidden panel in her back that opens up to reveal a variety of hats and some spare eyeballs. Seriously, I would rather deep fry my own scrotum than have to stare at Rumer Willis on screen for an hour and a half.
Bruce, I really appreciate you once again saving the world from terrorism but could you just save us from having to see her again or at least let her take a shoulder-fired missile to the head in the opening sequence?
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