Rumour has it LA Lakers forward Luke Walton is dating Britney Spears. Hey Luke….are you frickin’ kidding me? What is it, man? You didn’t figure hooking up with chics in 40 different road game cities a year gave you a good enough shot to catch a scorching case of VD? I guess you don’t mind playing in an arena where lots of other players have been doing some hard dunking lately?
NBA players are supposed to get the best chics, Luke. Tony Parker has Eva Longoria…..hell, even crazy Dennis Rodman had Carmen Electra and you get Britney? Not hot, catholic school girl, hit me baby one more time, I would kill people to hook up with you, Britney but crotch flashing, head shavin, psycho car bashin’, post rehab Britney who looks like frickin’ Kojack in drag. Dude, seriously, if you just have a Kojack fetish you’d be better off digging up Telly Savalas and pulling a Weekend at Bernie’s type romance. Sure, all your NBA buddies would laugh when they saw you spooning with his skeletal remains but at least it’s a pretty slim chance that K-Fed was there first…. I’d rather shave my back with a frickin’ cheese grater than play back up to Kevin Federline.
But hey, on the bright side, maybe you can change her. Maybe you’re just the guy that can charm the snakes out of her head. Then again, maybe you have a better chance of painting her bald dome like a crystal ball and seeing into the future. Here’s a hint : It involves several trips to the free clinic. Hope you’re not allergic to penicillin, dumbass!
NBA players are supposed to get the best chics, Luke. Tony Parker has Eva Longoria…..hell, even crazy Dennis Rodman had Carmen Electra and you get Britney? Not hot, catholic school girl, hit me baby one more time, I would kill people to hook up with you, Britney but crotch flashing, head shavin, psycho car bashin’, post rehab Britney who looks like frickin’ Kojack in drag. Dude, seriously, if you just have a Kojack fetish you’d be better off digging up Telly Savalas and pulling a Weekend at Bernie’s type romance. Sure, all your NBA buddies would laugh when they saw you spooning with his skeletal remains but at least it’s a pretty slim chance that K-Fed was there first…. I’d rather shave my back with a frickin’ cheese grater than play back up to Kevin Federline.
But hey, on the bright side, maybe you can change her. Maybe you’re just the guy that can charm the snakes out of her head. Then again, maybe you have a better chance of painting her bald dome like a crystal ball and seeing into the future. Here’s a hint : It involves several trips to the free clinic. Hope you’re not allergic to penicillin, dumbass!
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