John Travolta told the Irish Independent “I have fame on the level of a Marilyn Monroe or an Elvis, but part of the reason I didn’t go the way they did was because of my beliefs,”. Ummmmmmmmmm…….Hello, Mr. Ego Maniac……the only comparison between you and Elvis is that extra 50-60 lbs you’re lugging around from that all lard diet you must be on. Is that Scientology clean? And last I checked, 99.999999% of men would rather get it on with WHAT’S LEFT of Marilyn Monroe than you. It would have been 100% but Richard Simmons and Sanjaya Malakar actually cast a vote for you.
Look chief, I know your new movie, appropriately named Wild Hogs, has been a surprise blockbuster but that doesn’t make up for that space turd, Battlefield Earth. Is that really your best homage to L. Ron Hubbard? Then again, I am sure he’s getting the last laugh with all you clowns spouting his Scientology smack when it’s something he came up with one night after about his fifth rum shooter. I think it was him and a few buddies and it went something like this:
L. Ron: “Errrrrrrrrr, uhhhhhhhhh, ummmmmmm…..listen to this shit (cause that’s what drunk people always say first)…….Don’t ya think if Jesus was here now he could make a lotta jack. I bet he wished he could have sold the bible. I bet he could have bilked those stupid Pharisees out of millions by charging for healings. If he had only had a machine that had some flashing lights and a little arrow that showed how much healing they actually needed. That would have been a riot man!”
L. Ron’s drinking buddy, Bob: "You’re drunk, man and you’re blocking my view of the game. Sit down and shut up. Wait a minute……Did you say Jesus could charge money? You’re an idiot. That’s the lamest thing I ever heard. "
L. Ron: "Yeah…..well…..(hiccup)….I think…..oh dude, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Anyway……I still think it’s brilliant. Anymore of that pizza left? "
Yeah, Johnny……Apparently to be a Scientologist it requires you to have a lot of money, a big mouth and the ability to make the dumbest comments in recorded history. Why don’t you and Tom Cruise just get married so you two geniuses can make sweet, sweet love….errrrrr………cleanse each other’s thetans all night long? Idiot.
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