Crazy and Baffoon

TV and movie star, Anne Heche and her estranged husband, one Mr Coleman Laffoon, are fighting for custody of their child. Now, he is suing on the grounds that she is not mentally competent enough to take care of their child. Did I say Mr Coleman Laffoon? I should have said Mr Coleman BAFOON! Are you Frickin’ kidding me? Let me ask you something there, Mr Coldcut Bafoon, you mean to tell me, when you married Anne Heche, that you were the ONLY person on the planet who didn’t know she had more screws loose than the Mike Huckabee campaign? Come on, Mr Combover Baboon, we’re talking about the woman who not that long ago broke up with Ellen DeGeneres and was found wandering in the desert, pickin’ boogers and telling people that the mother ship was on the way to get her. Dude, she’s so crazy that people who do LSD should refer to it as “Dropping Anne Heche”. Do you smell what I’m stepping in there, Mr Colostomy Baloon? Then Anne Heche fires back by saying that, when their son stays with him in Los Angeles, that he sends the boy to preschool while he "plays poker and views pornography online.” Yeah? And what’s your point, Anne?
Do you know how much porn it would take to erase the memory of seeing you naked? Let’s just say that there’s a good chance that I would need to keep back up copies of Forest Hump and Pulp Friction on hand. Get it? On hand? Bottom line, you two morons combined couldn’t poor piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. I’m rooting for the grandparents.