Mamma's Got a Brand New Bag

Soooooo, Cameron Diaz went on a little South American trip and managed to offend the entire country of Peru by wearing a bag with the logo of Dictator Mao Zedong. You see, Cammy, the people of Peru aren't crazy about Mao or communism, possibly because in the not too distant past, he attacked Peru like Oprah Winfrey on a washtub full of hickory smoked turkey legs. Are you frickin’ kidding me? How stupid do you have to be to style a Chinese Communist logo on your purse? No wonder Justin Timberlake ejected you like Nicole Richie’s lunch. Gee, I guess it’s a good thing that Abercrombie and Fitch don’t make a handbag with the Nazi Swastika on it, huh, Cammy? Can’t you hear that…."Oooooh, I saw that design in Raiders of the Lost Ark. I bet that red and black armband would go great with these shoes! I wonder what that means, anyway? Who cares! I am so wearing that on my trip to Berlin." Hey Cameron, maybe on your next humanitarian mission you could take a trip to Japan and style a T-shirt with a picture of a frickin’ mushroom cloud on it. As much as I can’t believe I’m saying this, you make Britney Spears look like Professor Stephen Hawking. Cameron, I think it’s safe to assume that, in the near future, you won’t be splitting any atoms or curing cancer but is it too much to ask that the next time you see a really cool design that you wanna style in a foreign country, maybe you could swing by wikipedia to make sure it’s not the political equivalent of squattin’ down and launching butt scuds all over their history.