The Rear-View

ABC producers opted not to renew Rosie O’Donnell’s contract in spite of the fact that the View has a bigger audience and more publicity than ever. That makes sense doesn’t it? Are you frickin’ kidding me? ABC letting go of their cash Rosie, errrr, I mean cash cow makes about as much sense as putting Nicole Richie and the word “cleavage” in the same sentence. Don’t get me wrong... I still think Rosie runs her big mouth way too much. In fact, I imagine the only time Rosie’s mouth ever closes is when she clamps it around a 5 lb ham shank. But how the hell are the producers not going to pony up the bucks when Rosie brought the ratings to the highest they’ve ever been? Put it like this, if I had to have surgery on my prostate and when I woke up I realized that the doctor had doubled the size of my Johnson while he was there, well I sure as hell would wanna pay him a little extra. In all honesty, before Rosie was on there, I didn’t even know there was a show called The View. And now that she’s gone, what’s left? A couple of women so old that they could have left a waiter’s tip at the last supper and that blond woman who reminds me of a Chihuahua on crack. Seriously, if my choices were A) listening to her incessant yapping for an hour or B) letting Clay Aiken give me a colonoscopy then I guess I better call my HMO to see if Clay is in network. And now, oh brilliant ABC producers, I guess the world can just sit back and watch The View’s ratings sag like Hillary Clinton’s ass.