This week it was reported that movie star, Owen Wilson, rode over to a high profile, New York strip club called Scores West Side. You might not think that sounds odd at all until I tell you he rode up on a mountain bike. A MOUNTAIN BIKE? Are you frickin’ kidding me? Hey, Owen, did you valet that? Does your bike have a little bell on it so you can let everyone know the player’s on the scene? Maybe some playing cards in the spokes so you can make it sound just like a real motorcycle? Yeah, a mountain bike is exactly what every hot topless chic is looking for in a man. The only way you could have made it better is if you had shown up stylin’ a fanny pack full of quarters to tip the dancers with. Or maybe you could have challenged the naked ladies to a Dungeons and Dragons Tournament followed by showing off your extensive wealth of Star Wars trivia. Dude, you must be the lamest player in Hollywood because you couldn’t even keep Kate Hudson on the line and she was married to that singer from the Black Crowes who looked like Osama Bin Laden after a three day acid trip. So listen up, high roller….I suggest you throw on your best pair of parachute pants, throw your Yu-Gi-Oh cards in the handlebar basket, pedal your ass to the chess club meeting and leave those nice topless dancers to someone a little more manly like Rosie ODonnell.
No comments:
Post a Comment